I'm not certain why, but the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland reminds me of my husband. Sometimes he's very present, and sometimes he seems to fade into the background. Today was a day when he was very present. We had a birthday party to attend for a niece - actually a grand niece, I guess? I saw Dave interact with more people then I'd seen in a long time. It seemed he was enjoying himself. I think all my family members know now of his disease. They know now he isn't choosing to ignore them or to not interact. He's just not sure how to start up a conversation, and he in part doesn't realize what he's "supposed" to do in a social setting. I felt so touched by family making a point to talk to him, to give him a hug, to try to start a conversation with him. And he responded well! I heard him tell a couple of people about his disease - he showed off his awareness bracelet that he is wearing now all the time. He asked me the other day if he could take some of them to the senior center where he works out, because he's talked to a couple of guys there about his disease. WOW! He knows he has it, he knows it will probably get pretty bad eventually, and he finds it to be a topic of conversation. It is so good to see him having some social interaction instead of just sitting in a corner or going off by himself. And he actually seemed to be more himself. The Cheshire Cat was in total view. He did good! It is kind of funny - I feel a little like a parent who's child had a really good day at preschool and played with the other children. It's a good feeling! And I felt really proud, as silly as that seems. I saw a glimpse of the old Dave - not the really long ago Dave, but not so much a "faded" Dave. He seemed a little "muchier"! Later this afternoon, my brother-in-law and my niece stopped by. He wasn't certain who my niece was - she's been out of state and even out of the country quite a bit the last couple of years. But once I told him who it was, he was very warm and glad to see her and stayed with the conversation a little. Exactly what the doctor ordered! It made for a good day. I feel so thankful for the family I have, and their understanding of his disease, and their efforts to reach out to him and engage him in conversation and life.
He's actually working with a new client through home health care. He's only had one morning with a gentleman so far. I'm not sure how long it will last - how long til the gentleman might feel uncomfortable with him. But who knows? If we ever get the driving assessment report back (AAARGH!), we may find he shouldn't be driving at all, and it may be over before there is any choice in the matter.
I've gathered lots of information on the legal and financial issues we need to consider in planning for the possible long term of this disease. I now need to look it all over, plan my questions, ask some more questions of professionals in the aging arena to formulate MORE questions, and go back to the attorney. I know anything put in place can be changed, and the most important thing is to get the power of attorney and healthcare power of attorney in place for both of us - and I guess having something in place immediately that can be changed later is the better plan. I don't like not knowing everything I need to know before making a decision - and I'm one who always suffers "buyer's remorse". But I will just need to jump in and get on it!
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