These images I've posted are the scariest to me. They provoke the most thought, the most wondering, the most googling. I wish I understood more about the make up of the brain. The image with the comparison to a normal 80 year old brain looks so horrific. What do the big spaces mean? What particular behavior or process is that affecting? I'd love to show this to a neurologist who didn't know any of Dave's symptoms and ask - what would you expect see in clinical presentation of a person with this particular MRI profile? I don't know if anyone can tell me that.
I've tried googling FTD MRI images - many come up - but it is so hard to know what I'm looking at. A few look similar to my husband's. I'm hoping by posting these that anyone accessing this blog because they also have a loved one with FTD might see something familiar - or something very different then their loved one's MRI. That someone might have a loved one with similar symptoms, but a very different MRI, or similar MRI but very different symptoms. I don't know what difference it would make - other then it might help still the wondering if I can just figure this all out some how - can some how predict based on this one MRI - I want to know what comes next!!! Is there someone who could look at this and say, based on what has atrophied so far, that this is what will likely happen next? My sense is that this disease does what it wants - is fairly random in what might be effected one week to the next. Though these images indicate severe problems to me, does it actually look not so bad for now? And how bad will it get? When I look at it, I feel like he should have more problems in evidence then he is having so far. Maybe it can look so bad and not be producing any physical symptoms that I'm aware of because we supposedly use so little of our brain - maybe part of what has atrophied is a part that isn't used?
I wish I could make a list of symptoms, and then a little map of the brain would light up, showing; what atrophy would be most likely to be apparent with those symptoms. Then I would pick another symptom - like trouble speaking - that will come eventually - and see what lights up - see if it's close to what's already happening - see if it's close to the current edges of what looks like chasms - see if it's next. Or load my husband's MRI into some app that would spit out the symptoms that are likely in evidence with his profile. Wouldn't that be cool? So far, I haven't found any such tool, and I doubt there's one out there. But I'm sure there will be some day.
We finally meet with the attorney briefly this next week - our original appointment got cancelled. We got the bill for the driving assessment - but not the report yet! Our insurance actually covered the assessment - all but $67. Amazing. I'm a little anxious about the report - I know Dave reported he did well, and he hasn't had an accident in several years, but I am beginning to get concerned about it. I guess I could get him a bike - with a basket - and he could still go to the store like he enjoys, and pick up some groceries. He'd have to stop his two hour a week job - and probably have to walk to the senior center where he volunteers once a week washing dishes for an hour or so, and where he goes to exercise six days a week.
If anyone reading this knows anything about MRI's, most especially MRI's of a person with FTD, and you have some insight to offer, I would so appreciate it. Feel free to e-mail me at sorod55@gmail.com, or comment here. Or if you have similar thoughts, concerns, or any reason at all.
I so wish I had a crystal ball. Sometimes I wonder about selling our house if he'll eventually be in a wheel chair - we're in a split level with no bathroom on the main floor. Or if I get some work done in our tiny little master bathroom that no wheel chair would ever fit into, should I go big to plan for the future? Or should I fix things up here and get it ready to sell so we can move into a one level with plenty of room for a wheelchair to maneuver? Ugh. My brain just never stops spinning. So much to consider and ponder.
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