Time off is over. Had a nice long five day weekend - got to start this blog, which has been so cathartic. Got to find out more about this disease. Got to let this all settle in and move on. Not move on from the facts of life - not leave this all behind - but move on from the shell shocked state I felt I might have been in last week, I'm moving on with this new information and this new perspective. It is amazing to me how knowing the cause has made my relationship with Dave so much easier. I'm more concerned then anything. I've tried to suggest some things he might be able to do during the day - to exercise his mind, and take up a few hours that he won't be able to just sit and watch the game show network! I suggested jigsaw puzzles - no go. Suggested a Stephen King book - he used to really enjoy those - no go. Suggested some of the activities at the Senior Center - billiards, Euchre, puzzles - a more resounding "why would I want to do that?"
So I guess I'll just keep trying to come up with other ideas! My son suggested maybe we come up with a printed sort of monthly schedule and plan it out with his input. He actually doesn't mind doing household chores. He does a lot of what's called "industrial behavior". As soon as there is a dish or utensil in the sink or on the counter, whether you are done with it or not, it goes into the dishwasher. He fills the dishwasher regularly, turns it on, unloads it, and puts stuff away. If I have an almost empty pop can, he'll come over and check it to see if it's empty - and if he thinks it's empty, it's gone! If you put a candy wrapper, or crumpled napkin beside you on an end table, it magically disappears! It for the most part is a very helpful thing. Sometimes we find something missing - some silver charms I bought to make something for Michael - several small bottles of "Clear Eyes" - a new deodorant - sometimes we find them in the garbage, and sometimes we don't! Sometimes things are put away, but he can't remember where he put them, and we still haven't found them! He seems to enjoy restoring order in a basic manner. Yes, dishes get broken, things aren't always the cleanest they could be when they are put away, and we sometimes have to look for them, but he feels like he is contributing. At least I assume that's why he does it. If I ask him to maybe vacuum the rugs, he makes sure he tells me when I get home that he did that. It's kind of sweet. But I really want to find something that will increase his interaction with others - something that he'll actually enjoy. Just going to have to pick my brain a little more on that one.
He loves our two little neighbors - Z is 7, P is 5. We've known them their whole lives. He makes sure we have Bomb Pops for them - sometimes they'll come to the door - we call them the Bomb Pop Bandits - each day in the heat of summer, he would tell me if they'd come over or not. Sometimes he checks to see if they're outside and go out and ask them if they would like one. Sometimes he'll sit out on the front porch and interact with them a bit - since he's hard of hearing, he can't always follow the conversation, but while he's engaged, it brings back so many memories of him with our children when they were young, and other kids. He could do many different animal sounds and would entertain kids for hours with that! It was such fun!
He is a very kind man - unfortunately part of the disease - the apparent apathy and loss of filter - masks it a lot of the time today. But that's ok. One great thing about having a diagnosis and doing this blog has let family members know it's the disease.
Yes, there are a lot of things I wish for. But I also know that my family is blessed in so many ways, even with regards to this disease right now. Ask me in five years, and I hope I'll feel the same. I have a lot of family that care for me and my husband. I have family members with their own struggles. This just happens to be ours. And so far, it's a walk in the park on a nice day - thanks to all around me.
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